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March 23, 2010

Day 35 - Wide and Down

OK, I think I am getting the hang of this blog thing! I know you all miss Michael's good writing, wit, and wisdom on this blog. The trade off is somewhat regular updates from the caregiver perspective!

These days it seems that we get more and more challenges, yet in between the moments of deepest darkness, I still manage to find a point of reference that keeps things moving forward in a positive direction. Today was no exception.

Michael had his usual 10:00 AM appointment at the PAIN center in Rohnert Park (Amber - have you come up with a better name yet?). He met with Dr. Lee who told him that if he didn't start taking in more calories he would have no option but to go to a feeding tube. Also, due to his weakened condition the doctors may have to cancel his third chemo appointment coming up next week. So... today we worked on turning things around.

I have managed to come up with an awesome smoothie recipe that contains around 485-550 calories in a volume of less than 2/3 cup (it helps that Michael's taste buds are not exactly functioning as normal). So the feeding routine involves a lot of lavendar, massage, and calming talk to bring the energy wide and down, rooting the healing and avoiding the gag. We are 3 for 3 so far and on target.

This routine takes time and is very hard on Michael. During one of the times today I was thinking about how much I take eating, drinking and swallowing for granted. Can you imagine dining at a restaurant where the thought of eating was repulsive, yet the servers were massage therapists, the bus boys were lavendar squirters, and your dining companion was encouraging you through the eating process by having you focus on your breath and drawing your energy wide and down to avoid the gag reflex?

On other news, a shout out to PJ for filling in the voids and always coming up trumps. A big thank you to Julia for the magical breakfast cereal mini-boxes including Fruit Loops. Also, to my brother-in-law Pat for his immense knowledge, experience, compassion, and love. He always grounds us and helps us through this medical mess guiding us to make better decisions. We love you Pat!

By now, I am sure you have all figured out that Michael will not be returning any phone calls in the near future and most likely will not be responding to emails. Feel free to contact me at justclaire@gmail.com and I will do my best to get back to you.

Posted by Claire at March 23, 2010 07:53 PM